Hierarchies and Webs

So I've been thinking about the notion of hierarchies (in part because of our discussion of what it is like to really know what somebody else's experiences ar e like. In that discussion, I pointed out that:

I tend to think the whole 'knowing what it is like to be "x"' in terms of concentric circles radiating out from myself (or from individuals in general). Nobody can "know exactly" what it is like to be *me*--starting with the fact that they can't have lived my exact life and branching out from there--but white, middle-class men will probably have a better (initial) idea about what it is like to be me than, say, rich white men

and Alexis added:

i think your "circles of understanding" is pretty good, and add to it that circles are not nested in a strict hierarchy: the middle class black man may share a lot of perspectives with you, but the rich white man may share different perspectives with you.

I think this is a good example of how thinking in terms of hierarchies does a lot of work, but then only goes so far (and can be a detriment, in the final analysis).

Take for instance, friendships and other intimate relationships. I had several invitations to Thanksgiving dinner, not all coming at the same time, and I had to choose which one I wanted (if any) to take people up on. (First of all, I feel lucky/thankful(!) that I had invites at all--could have gone down very differently.) During the choosing, I got to thinking that there is a way in which I'm placing my friendships on a hierarchy--if I go to T-day with Kareem, Jessie and Max, that places my friendship with them somehow 'above' my friendship with, say, Jen. But of course it's not that simple--there are other factors, but more importantly there are different facets of each friendship that I value, and T-day is involved in some of those facets but not all. That is, one of the things I value about J, K and M is that I like feeling like their extended family, and I sort of like doing the more adult-ish traditional things with them (in part becuse I know they're not very adult in ways that I'm not very adult). I like hanging with Jen for slightly different reasons, and Thanksgiving Day doesn't (as closely) address those reasons.

Of course there are more forceful examples, generally having to do with *even* more intimate relationships, but I thought the T-day one would be a good jumping off point.

Does anybody else struggle with remembering that hierarchies aren't as strict as they sometimes seem? What does it mean when you get married (for instance)--is part of getting married putting your betrothed 'on top' (snicker) in various ways?

Thoughts?

Enemy Mine - Translations

I was discussing race and gender with some students the other day, and asked the question of (five black female students): "Could I ever really (added the "ever" and "really" for emphasis) understand what it is like being a black woman in America?"

They were in general more optimistic than me about it, suggesting that I do some reading, and talking with black women. "What if suddenly, I were to look like a black woman, and people treated me that way. Would I then understand better?" Again, they were more optimistic than me. When we talked about early life experiences and such, they mostly became less confident. They all agreed it would be absurd for anyone to want to undergo such a transformation.

One student (my favorite this year I think) was dismissive of any real differences between us, and imagined that anyone who was interested, introspective, and sincere could learn pretty much all there was to know.

I am torn. On one hand I am willing to take a Wittgensteinian approach and say our communication is necessarily public and straightforward, that there are no 'private' experiences incapable of expression. On the other, sometimes it seems like we are engaged in this lasting project to learn a common language.

Discuss.

Introductions?

Just thought I'd introduce Jen to y'all...and then let her introduce herself, I suppose, in whatever way she'd like to.

Jen is a friend of mine that I met at a job I useta have. She's smart and witty and I have had many a philosophic-ish conversation with her. Please be nice to her. You know, at least at first. :)

i'm here, i'm queer...

...thanks for inviting me to your humble blog, all you's. it was this dude sholtz that locked it in for me, i mean after reading homie g's comments i feel right at home.

i think we should let all comment. here, here.

Guilty Pleasures?

I thought I might start us off by asking about something that has been sort of knawing at me of late: The whole ethical conundrum of 'doing all one can' for various causes, while still enjoying one's own life.

Here's my thought--Does anybody else feel (sometimes) like some/all very 'normal' pleasures that one partakes in are really guilty pleasures, in the sense that while I'm enjoying reading comics (or blogging!) or whatever, there are people I could be helping who don't even have a place to live, etc. Is there a way to be good to others and good to oneself without being hypocritical about it?

Last night I bought a burrito and some guacamole and then a man outside the taqueria asked if I had any change. No sir, I said, and moved on. I could, next time I want a burrito, buy stuff and make it myself (or make something else cheaper) and donate to that guy or a person like him what I saved, for instance. Simple example, but it cuts to the heart of my experience.

What say y'all?

Welcome

I suppose the first order of business might be to decide if we want to have this be the name o' the groupblog. I'm not the creative one, that's for sure, so I just picked something off of the top of my head. On the other hand, I sort of like it, and since it was Lex's comments on my blog which inspired me to coerce y'all into this, maybe it should stay.

Also, somebody pick a different template if ya like.